Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
