we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
