On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Found your dick twin last night
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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