i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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