but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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