Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
