i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's rum buckets o'clock
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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