There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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