i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
