So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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