If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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