Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
