dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize