Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
