i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
