Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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