Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
