tonight lets celebrate not being married
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
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It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize