I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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