Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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