Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
