so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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