like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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