Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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