I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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