YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
