You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
