Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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