When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
