Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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