So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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