I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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