i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
