He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
