I think my fart just growled at me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
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