yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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