PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
