I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
