Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
