Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
