I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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