you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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