The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
