she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
