Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
