I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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