when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
