New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
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