jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
