i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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