Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
