ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
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He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
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Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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