I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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