i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
