I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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