we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
