bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
