I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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