Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
not ubering you a puppy
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
