He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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