yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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