you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
