Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
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he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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