I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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