so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
