remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
