It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
