oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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